Category Archives: Autism

Ooops!

IMG_0174Humans live with the ridiculous expectation that we have some control over our lives..and there are events we can depend on happening..the sun rising…taxes coming due…
We have to expect our life has a certain dependability from day to day or we’d never get out of bed.
The moon remains in orbit, so all we need to focus on are the small details…what to wear,,,what to make for dinner.
At the back of our mind is the knowledge that our existence is chancy, but we don’t dwell in that place. We have to move on and cook dinner.
I can still feel the slight slide of one stockinged foot as it lost traction on the lower step in a beautiful house I’ve lived in for over twenty years, traversing that very step several times per day.
A slight wobble, a small sliding step, a loss of balance and I crashed into the corner of the hallway and kitchen, picking a particularly destructive angle of wall. A spread of possibilities flashed through my mind, chilling in consequences. I remember thinking, “This is not good” and wondering how I had acquired that much momentum in such a short space.
When I could wiggle my fingers and form a sentence, my worst fears abated. Then, I tried to move. Screaming, claw the ceiling pain, left Rosie Projectmy body shivering on the hard cold floor.
Now I need a new shoulder, as if you can just pick it off the grocery shelf.
In a second, my life has changed dramatically.
Human lives are like that..pearls of seconds strung on a necklace that forms a life…and sometimes you’re not in control.
But we have to get up in the morning; we have to move forward.
And there is that great solace…if I start to babble, I can always blame it on the meds.

My operation is Thursday. I hope to offer a surprising suggestion in a week or so. I have to eliminate the Rosie Project as it is neither science fiction nor fantasy…but just an interesting fun read and recommended.

8 Comments

Filed under Autism